So how do overworked, underpaid, time poor parents achieve positive parenting?
Realise that your number one job is not the house, nor your car, nor your work, nor even yourself! Your absolute highest most pinnacle priority job is to keep your child alive until they become a healthy adult and can then take care of themselves.
The better a parent is at that, the healthier the child will be, because they are being raised in a healthy environment and that makes for healthy people.
This is not about giving in to “demanding” kids having a tantrum because you had to take them shopping and they have become overloaded with literally 10,000 adverts for stuff, under bright white lights and a barrage of uninterrupted music over the public address system of the supermarket!
This is recognising that YOU are responsible for that tantrum somehow! Everything that child does, is entirely your responsibility. If they are having a tantrum in the shop, it’s because you took them to the shop.
If they are having a tantrum because the music is too loud, then it was your job to ensure the music was comfortable!
If they are having a tantrum because you didn’t give them a phone, then it is your responsibility to ensure the child can communicate with friends and family!
If they are having a tantrum because you caught them stealing something, then it is your fault they felt they needed to steal in the first place!
If your child is bullied at school, it is your right to go to the school or the police or other authorities and do something about it TODAY! NOW! If your child is being bullied at school, then it is your right to remove them from that bully situation and inform the school that the school is not undertaking their mandated legal duty of care of YOU child, and thus your expression of parenting is to take the child out of that school/class until such a time that you are comfortable with your child’s welfare and safety at that school/class.
100% entirely your responsiblity. And if you have to write a letter to the local minister of parliament because neither the school, nor the class teacher, nor the bully, nor the police can solve the issue, then do that!
Speak UP! Rise Today, rise tomorrow, be not filled with sorrow, your words matter cut the chatter and ACT.
Give feedback and complaints to all authorities available. Have courage to face up to the confronting situation, do not permit yourself any weaknesses that detract from your TOTAL AUTHORITY in raising healthy children.
You can leave your job. Many do, or reduce hours, or adjust working conditions.
You can speak with the class teacher. Many do, and sometimes that works.
You can call the principal. Many do, and sometimes that works.
You can call the police. Many do, and sometimes that works too!
You can call child welfare agencies. Many do, and that sometimes works too!
You can confront the bully and address the issue(s). Many do, and that sometimes works GREAT!
You can go to your local bikie gang and say “Here’s $500 to go and tell this bully to back off my child, but please don’t hurt the bully, just make it very clear, they are to STOP!” That might work too, how will you ever know unless you try? Use these people last, for you need to explore legal options before exploring illegal options, and do not ask people to do illegal things. But “violent” people are not always violent! Avoid conflating single actions or multiple actions with predicting future similar actions, change happens.
And finally, if someone says “Don’t hit your child.” then do not confuse that with you being bad person, or that all your parenting is bad, just acknowledge, yep I really shouldn’t be hitting my child and work forward from your own admission of fault. Why did you hit the child? How can you avoid that in the future?
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