Raise the Rate, someone said.

Around a gold and jewel encrusted table, sitting upon fine italian leather chairs in custom made suits and clothing some individuals discuss the economic situation of the poorest of Australia’s poor, whilst a man named Robert Paulson serves the drinks.

“My shares are skyrocketing, it’s through the roof, climate change proponents have created a situation where government actually wants me to raise the price of the electricity our company supplies. So I did, and profits are through the roof, a typical home owner is now paying 141% MORE for the same amount of energy we supplied them last year.”
“I like what you’re saying there Bill. With agriculture becoming more and more efficient due to technological improvements we’ve managed to increase our profit margins by over 100% in the last decade, yet only increased the cost to home owners by 6%. It’s a small increase for them, but a massive profit increase for us.”
“Gentlemen and women, property prices are booming! People are frothing at the mouth for a new house to live in and I am informed that rents have increased by 10% each quarter for quite some time! People are paying more and more, for less and less, and if they complain about the house I provide, in any way shape or form, I simply end their contract and in comes someone else… whom I of course charge even more.”

“Clearly the plight of the poor is something we need to be concerned about in this approaching hyper inflation situation, I propose that we raise the rate the largest we have ever raised it for three decades. Does anyone have a figure on how much we should give the poorest of the poor?”
“Sweet f.a.”
“Less than as little as possible.”
“Why give them anything at all? Obesity is a major problem and the poor are already too fat!”
“I like the obesity problem, keeps me in work as a cardiologist.”
“Please, please, I appreciate the sentiments, but we genuinely need a figure here thank you.”
“Ok, let’s give them less than half of the inflation rate, say roughly an increase of $1.80 per day.”
“A whole $1.80 per day! That’s ridiculous what about the workers, they’re going to spit chips when the unemployed, disabled and pensioners get $1.80 a day extra!”
“yeh we know, that’s half the point, we’ve got to keep the blue collar workers hating the poorest, so the middle class plebs don’t notice you know who.”
“Here here! Proposition seconded. Waiter, I desire another Grange.”
“Right away sir, we have just discovered some extremely rare bottles, early experimental stuff with a screw top! Its vintage is 1948, will that one do?”
“Just pour the damn thing Paulson.”

by David Jarvis 2022, copyright.